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Share or Not Share?

The 4 year-old Ian came close to 20 month-old Caius, staring at the toy car in Caius's hand, then he look at me at 45 deg, wish I told Caius that "share with Ian Koko", but I didn't.

Then he came to me and ask, "koko, can you ask baby to share the car with me?", I told him, "you go and ask baby directly, see if he will, normally after he finished playing, he will share". So this little boy go to the toddler, and keep asking the toddler,"baby, can you share the toy with me?" .....

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15 mins later, he successfully get the toy car from Caius' hand, he is happy and Caius did not cry.

Why don't I just ask the toddler to share? My reason is I do not want the toddler feel pressure and sacrifice by sharing. Sharing is a good motive, especially in Asia, we embrace the culture of sharing, which is very good! And As parent, I love my son sharing with friends too, but my point is I do not want my son to feel that by sharing with others, he has to sacrifice his toys or his food. Let him play until he is contented, then he will leave the toy. 

Sharing snack is also the same, when I asked him to share with "Yeye"(grandpa), "nainai"(grandma), "koko"(big brother", etc, I always give him more, so that he won't feel lack when he share. As I observe, when he has only a few, he tends not to share, but when he has more, he is more willing I share. 

So people may felt weird, but at least I think I respect my boy and I don't use my super "dad" power to instruct him to share unwillingly. And I know when he sharing his snack, he is sincerely willing!



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